Saturday, 11 February 2012

Comedy spirits, Part 1; Unicum.

 In the Bag Of Nails, we have accumulated a number of strange and obscure spirits, which can only legitimately be described as 'Whut I found on my holidays.' These include such useless bottles such as Metaxa, Galliano, four types of orange liqueur and something unknown called Kibowi ,which has a picture of a kiwi fruit on the label. 
 A few days ago we acquired a bottle of the rather unfortunately named Unicum. Wiki describes it as a 'Unicum is a Hungarian herbal bitters, drunk as a digestif and apéritif.' I would describe it as a potential torture method yielding results similar to waterboarding or forced Simply Red listening. Jamie is the manager of the excellent Hillgrove Porter Stores. Last night was his first visit to the pub since he saw me sat in darkness, amongst the detritus left by the previous landlord and council, brassoing a metal drip tray. He was suitably impressed with my decoration, which I appreciated, and so I treated him to a free taste of our newest spirit. Here are the pictorial results.

The excellent Dom who also works in the Hillgrove was with him. He was pretty drunk already, and so we gave him a slightly larger glass. Unlike Jamie who had warning of just how foul the drink was, Dom had no warning, and downed the whole shot in one. Because of his drunkenness, there was a delayed reaction. No expression on his face for five seconds or so, then slow realisation of the nasty bitterness that had just irreversibly tainted his mouth. The subsequent look that he gave me was identical to the one given by a dog who loved you, after you had just punched him on the nose for no reason.

Poor Dom. I'm almost sorry.


  1. This made me laugh, a lot. I drank this stuff unwittingly whilst in Hungary and can testify that it is beyond filth. As I understand it is the worst spirit, in the world. As such I am interested to know what spirit part two will be.

  2. I too drank Unicum in Hungary. Some time later I described it to a Hungarian colleague as very much like a cough medicine we have in the UK (Benylin) - he said "We use it for that too".